Freedom at Last

“So this is liberation. It’s come.

I am fourteen and I have lived a thousand years.

I’m numb with cold. With hunger. With death and blood, and the rattle of the train rolling on and on.... Freedom at last.” I Have Lived a Thousand Years, p. 205

This quote to me tells me the amount of struggle and pain Elli went through. She is still numb with the thoughts and remembrance of the experience she was in. Reading this quote brings tears of happiness and sadness to my eyes, she is fourteen and throughout the year she was in the ghetto and camps, she feels as though she has lived a thousand years. She has had to grow up so fast and feels she has lived a thousand years. Elli is happy for the freedom but still numb with the thoughts of the camps, the horrific scenes of murder, the unquenchable thirst and the always present hunger. She has been through so much and she is finally finally free.

When I read this quote I think of my family's experiences with foster care. My siblings and I were placed into multiple foster homes and shelters. Our experience wasn’t as traumatizing as Elli and her mothers, but we did have to grow up a lot faster than most people our age did. After we went through the foster care system we were ecstatic for the freedom but still numbed by the experience we went through, such as Elli states. There is  one experience that is more difficult than the others. I was 6 years old and I was separated from my mom, brother, and sister. I was placed in a shelter for children 6 years and older. It doesn’t sound as bad as it really was. The first day I was there, I was told that the shelter was going to be fun and it wasn’t. I was lied to, I had a terrible time there and I was deceived. The leaders were rude and mean, the kids there didn’t let you play with them. I felt alone, nobody to talk to, nobody to comfort me when I am sad. I had no family, no friends, I was surrounded by people but I felt alone. When I finally left I was happy for the freedom, but I can never shake the feeling of longing, I cannot shake the feeling of loss and pain. My experience is minor compared to the victims of the Holocaust but I had to grow up a lot faster than most did, like Elli did.